Why I disapeared from school

Why did I take a year off and leave a program I not only enjoyed, but excelled at? It wasn't simply a matter of "needing time away" or "saving money for other years". The reason wasn't even wholly to do with travel- which is what I'll be doing.
The reason why I left school was to find myself.
Yeah, you're smirking. What a cliche; the rugged traveller who journeys to distant lands in search of inner knowledge.
But I'm not a monk-in-the-making, no where near, actually.
The explanation is simple: I didn't feel comfortable being comfortable. I didn't feel safe being, well, safe.
Let me clarify this jumble of non sequiturs for you.
Since I was young, I have moved from home to home, country to country, and school to school on an annual, if not more frequent, basis. I have thrived in change and welcomed the new- and expected it. I have a sneaking suspicion that this is the reason behind my trouble with long- term relationships. I just pull out emotionally and convince myself that, hell, there are other guys out there, anyway. Which is true, but...I digress.
Growing up with so much anxious change has made me accustomed to it. It's Like a person adjusting to a tap's nightly drip-drop sound, realizing that without it, he can't sleep anymore.
So after another botched longish relationship, I realized it was time for me. I need to find myself, and be truly happy with that person. No one else will ever wrap me in a false sense of stability. It's ignorance, and for me this doesn't mean bliss but rather a temporary numbness.
Instead of festering in a slow-motion involvement, being completely at the mercy of another, there blooms a need for thriving in the foreign, with only myself to answer to.
So, in short, I left a perfectly suitable program because I felt uncomfortable knowing that my life would play out exactly as I was planning in my head? You bet your ass I did.

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