The Love Thing

Romance and love is a genre of its own in the film industry and in Western culture- but nothing can rival Bollywood in that genre. Almost every film either revolves around love or has a subtheme involving a guy and gal destined for one another, overcoming all odds.
We both watched too many romantic films, but it didn't matter. We fell for each other. Who knows if the idea of the foreign guy/ girl influenced our feelings.
What I found was that regardless of which side of the globe you're on, the love industry is a massive one. Valentine's day rakes in big bucks and the fact that it's even a holiday shows the popularity of this industry. And Bollywood is, after all, thriving for a reason. People just love love!
The idea of eternal bliss with the man or woman we cant is a dream-come-reality for those on-screen. For those that are off it, the dream is lived through film.
But do these films, whether cheesy and funny or haunting and beautiful, form an unattainable standard in our mind, or is the reverse possible; that they make us more cynical and pessimistic towards romance?
I admit to swooning whenever yet another leading main man comes along to save the day, and the girl, but still cringe afterwards: "what if someone actually thinks that that's how every relationship should be- perfect?!"
Do we expect more from our partner, for example, after seeing a film where the lead travels two days to a foreign country to find the girl- even though he has no clue where in that vast land she could be? And to think that lazy boyfriend of yours won't even take you out for dinner this Friday night... another friggin country!
As a result, an entire industry has been built around that female who should always expect more from a partner, no matter what the situation. The leader in this growing catchy trend is Cosmopolitan magazine. With headers like "How to please your man" and "getting your dream guy", it's not hard to see their point of view. You have to first get pointers on how to find the elusive "great guy", followed by guidelines that will help you to please him, or, in other words, keep him all to yourself. Such a precious commodity should be guarded and constantly persuaded to stay, lest he get other ideas about other girls and try to leave... I mean, you even cares about your own happiness or the idea that maybe some gals are more content and confident being single.

It was summer in that desert city and hot. My blood pulsed and boiled, and not just from the heat.
We had time to talk, find out what made each of us tick, laugh over lunch, share a beer and catch glimpses of reflected looks that we both knew very well. But we never kissed. Even though I was white and there are certain stereotypes involved, he was one of the good guys I met and he never tried anything on me. I respected him back for that seemingly small gesture.
But when I think about us now, the first thing that emerges from the fog of memory is the feelings I had for him, even though I didn't know him for very long and didn't get to know him innately during that week. What emerges when I think of love is not him physically, but the feelings I had at the time. Were they genuine emotions- or was I not truly seeing who was in front of me, only seeing something new, exciting, fun. Had I fallen into the trap of being in love with the feeling of being in love, rather than the person?
I don't know if there is an answer or whether it's possible to find one now. But at least I still have the memories of hot days on the back of a motorbike, whipping past blue houses and glittering bazaars with a feeling of utter and complete freedom- and that's the important thing, right?

Valentines in the City

Toronto, Canada, is an eclectic, bustling city full of life and inspiration.
Never is this more evident than on holidays and during festivals when everyone celebrates together. Case in point is on February 14th, or Valentine's Day.
Queen West, the art-fashion bohemian mecca, is filled with ideas for decorating and dressing your best on this day. The store-fronts bloom with reds, pinks and various shades of white for the romantic passer-by. The main entertainment district on Richmond Street pumps music into the night crowd that gathers to mingle and party. The splayed out plazas get in on the love with V-day contests and sales. Events are advertised all over the city on flyers and through word of mouth; fashion shows, special dj sets, and parties are all put on in the name of Valentines Day. Kensington Market is awash with international flavor; the street vendors display only the most festive vintage imports. The organic food shops serve up delectable heart- shaped cupcakes, tarts, and pies.If you're looking for something to do with your sweety, you have to act quickly because dinner reservations fill up weeks ahead. There is no end to the romantic choices available. A walk through the historic University of Toronto Campus and the near by park, art gallery hopping, baking your own cake at Pie in the Sky Bakery, and selecting the perfect bouquet at one of many florist shops in the city are all on the menu.For the single guy and gal, parties, spa treatments and special "singles night" events add fun to this day.
Many people in the city even reject Valentine's day as a holiday worth celebrating. But this set usually have "anti- Valentine" events to rock out at.
Nevertheless, Toronto remains one of the most interesting places to be on February 14th.

Valentine's Day Blues...Not

February the 14th is supposed to be a day for couples, the one day of each year delegated to showing your love for the significant other in your life. One day. Even the concept of this Hallmark holiday is a little off; I say that there are ways to show affection every day of the year, why relinquish it to a mere 24 hours?
Oh, and there is the fact that not every person on this earth is in a relationship- in fact, most aren't. So when magazines comes out with V-day ideas for you and your hunny, what is a single gal to do- sulk, hide from your happily coupled pals, and eventually finish off a pint of Ben & Jerry's on your own? No. I won't stand for it and your sure won't, either. In lieu of the "romantic twosome" ideas spilling from the newstands during the next week, here is a list of things only a single girl can do on V-day- that's right, sometimes it only takes one.
1) Scam on cuties:
Ok, so this one is self-evident. But isn't it truly a relief when you see a fine man to admire without feeling guilty? Hell, let's go one step further, maybe you can even talk to said man! The city is a playground for guy-watching. Cafes, restaurants, movie theatres...even libraries are breeding grounds for this sport. It's pure fun and adrenaline to have a girls night at a club or bar and feel free to do whatever you please because there isn't an anxious and nearly jealous man reeling in the background.
2) Journey as you please:
Hm...I think I want to go to India in 6 months. No problem, right? For the single girl, no, but for the coupled one, the answer is a big fat yes. Imagine what things must be kept in consideration because of him: what about us? Are you breaking up with me? How long will you be gone for? Why can't I come? These are endless and tiresome. Most of all, they make one feel less independent and more constrained. Most of the time, there are no answers to these questions, since travel doesn't follow an itinerary when on the road solo.
True, you could bring Mr. hubby on the trip with you, but do you really want to spend every waking second in very close quarters with the man who is supposed to find you sexy, and vice versa? No chance of that when you see grooming habits, hear snoring...the list can go on for ages. Independent travel with no qualms on the home front is best.
3) Perks at your disposal:
Picture this; you're on your own at the movie store with a d.v.d. in hand. Three heavily- laden men stand between you and your movie watching. What's a cute single gal to do? Cutesy it up, of course, and ask the lads if they "wouldn't mind if I just buy this movie and rush home because my puppy needs a walk." Add in a hair twirl and lip bite for effect. In general, men love single girls. I mean, that's just how it is in most situations where you can use that charm. Ask and you shall receive.
4) Love and pamper yourself:
Think about it, if there is no guy to take up your time, all of the attention can go to yourself, your friends and family. Your life can follow your own direction, rather than having to keep one other person in consideration all the time. It's a "me", rather than "us", thing, and that's empowering.