Oscar Night- What are you Wearing?!

Pre- Oscar shows are usually riddled with the raspy "Who are you wearing" of a certain plastic-surgery loving interviewer. But the question at the 2007 Academy Awards should have been "What are you wearing?!" In other words, the dresses, although daring, often left one confused.
This year, Ryan Seacrest takes up the role as host of the pre-Oscars, and succeeds as a less entertaining replacement to our previously mentioned host. On to the fashion...
New mommy Maggie Gyllenhaal is as cute as a pumpkin- so what sucked her into an unflattering satin blue feather-duster? She is the first A-list celebrity to arrive on the red carpet, and demonstrates that not all dresses tonight will be as "safe" as at the Golden Globes.
Cameron Diaz is a trooper for coming out to the Oscars sans-date, this being a major appearance since her unfortunate breakup with Justin. I have to say something nice, so I will comment on her gorgeous hair, a yummy chocolate hue. The colour contrasts perfectly with the white of her dress and her beach-tan skin. As for the dress, the collar reminds me of an over-sized "Quaker Oats" man collar. The dress' short front and longer back is reminiscent of a 90's Las Vegas wedding dress. What was Jay Manual thinking when he said this was a "come back from the Golden Globes"? Do you smell something burning? I think someone's pants are on fire.
Jennifer Hudson glows in an earth-tone number. A wise choice, as the material and cut of the dress flowed right over any troublesome areas. Which is why it saddens me that she covered the top of this success with an intergalactic silver cut-off jacket. The eye is automatically directed to the sharp edges and tin-foil coating of the mini- top, rather than down the clean lines of her dress.
One person stands out for me so far; Jada Pinkett Smith out-shines her Oscar-nominated husband in a mustard-gold dazzler. The corset top gives her that enviable hourglass shape. The classic satin falls to the floor and adds a regal look to this red carpet arrival. The yellow of the dress works wonders with her skin-tone.
You've got to hand it to J.Lo, her red carpet choices are extremes year-after-year. This time around, her dress misses the mark. The collar is over-the-top, in a bad way. Looking at first glance like a senior out for a night on the town, La Lopez must have 5 pounds of hair spray to hold that bob in place. The bejewelled heavy stones on the collar weigh down her breezy Grecian inspired dress. This just goes to show that, even with millions in the bank, style just can't be bought.
Speaking of old ladies, Gwyneth Paltrow looks the part with her bland terracotta costume and bright red lipstick. She is naturally gorgeous and doesn't need to smudge on such a garrish shade. Her body, even after popping out a child, is enviably slim. But the dress washes her look out and the lipstick only cheapens it.
Kiki Dunst continues this ghastly trend with her feathered and glittered-out blue dress. It has a mesh collar up to her neck. Need I say more?
And the award for cutest dress on the red carpet has to go to Anne Hathaway. That bow on her strapless gown is, well, adorable. But that's possibly the most positive thing to be said about her look tonight. The fabric looks like a satin curtain and the cut was less than tasteful. She looked sexy and fresh in Devil Wears Prada. Did the devil miss her soul and suck out her style instead?
Rachel Weitz looks like a shining Greek goddess. She doesn't need the necklace, though, as the detail on the strapless top dazzles enough. But her lipstick is too dark! It looks goth, not classic- something she should have gone for. Weisz poses easily in front of photographers. How could you not when you're a yummy mummy dressed in eye-catching silver?
Nicole Kidman. So sad. The shade of red is a classic with her porcelain skin and the hair and makeup is flawless, as usual. The puffed out bow crouching on the shoulder? Not a fan.
The most beautiful woman in all of Hollywood, at least in my opinion, is Penelope Cruz. She looks the part tonight with natural make-up, a body-hugging blush-shade dress, and that dark chocolate hair. Per-fec-tion.
Another hot carpet-walker tonight is Reese Witherspoon. This newly single gal amazes in a long and lean deep purple dress and a sassy new haircut. I am obsessed with her dress; the cut, the layers, the surprising colour choice. Don't even get me started on the make-up. A true red-carpet pro.
We can't leave the guys out of this one just because the ladies are the focus. That's discrimination.
There isn't much choice in outfits for the red-carpet walking man, but two caught my eye. Djimon Honsou was a stunner. And not just because the man is insanely attractive. Donning a dark suit (not exactly black, but a close cousin), he towered over Ryan Seacrest as he was badgered with embarrassing schmooze. His jacket was lined with slim satin, but not too much of the glossy fabric which would tackify (sure, it's a word) his sharp and sleep look. I didn't even mind the orange hued sun-glasses, they only added to his interesting appeal.
Al Gore was pure class in a suit by Calvin Klein. Proof that it's not emissions causing global warming, but Al Gore himself.